Excerpted from The Advocate’s Heart by Suzanne Newman
What would happen if you were able to open yourself to the greater possibility and find tools to make your life better? What would happen if you could find a way to not feel resentment and hardship that comes with the job of caregiver? Here are a few tips to keep in mind as you begin your journey of the hardest days.
First and foremost, take a HUGE deep breath. You probably feel like your life is out of balance (not by your choice) and you are being pulled in 50 different directions.
Find a support network. Easier said than done, right? But I am willing to bet that you know many people who are caring for senior parents, and that if you connected even once a month, it would help you immensely! As a matter of fact, your life could change for the better ten-fold.
Whatever emotions you feel, it’s okay! I officially give you permission to be mad, to feel sad, to feel exhausted and overwhelmed. After all, you are likely spending close to 20-30 hours a week caring for someone else. Many caregivers are also holding down full-time jobs and handling family obligations.
Laughter lightens the load. It helps you to not take yourself and life too seriously, and it releases tension and stress. Not only is it okay to laugh, it’s a requirement! Even today, I think back to some funny or even embarrassing moments that resulted as my mother’s dementia progressed. It’s important to keep our sense of humor in coping with their state of consciousness. I promise you, it’s okay to be amused.
Speak Up. A doormat takes it in and tries to hold it all together. The advocate has the wisdom to know what he or she is okay with doing and finds solutions through collaboration with others. It’s okay to ask for help. You cannot, and should not, be all things to all people. Let people help. You will be surprised to see how many people want to help but don’t even know what to offer or how or where to start.
Taking Care of YOU Comes First. I have learned, that no matter how hard it gets, or how urgent the situation is with your parent, that you must take care of yourself. I know it feels like you don’t even have time to think, but at the end of the day, you cannot give of yourself that which you do not have. It is critical to take time every single day to do something for yourself. It could be a walk, a drive in the country, or a luxurious bubble bath. If you do not nurture yourself, then no one can.
The Advocate’s Heart by Suzanne Newman is available through this link at Amazon.com.
