Caregiver Stress Relief Through Hypnosis, Part 2 with Faith Marshall

The following Answers for Elders podcast features author, innovator, Alzheimers and Dementia Family Coach Faith Marshall.

And welcome back everyone to Answers for Elders Radio, and we’re here with the wonderful hypnotist — in a good way — Faith Marshall, who is also an Alzheimer’s and dementia expert, and also Faith works with family, caregivers. And a lot of things, I think that’s really amazing, as we’ve been talking about hypnosis in our earlier segments of how they benefit family members and, of course, working with family members in that are dealing with Alzheimers and Dementia, but we’re kind of taking a shift today and talking about caregivers. How many of us are taking care of a loved one, we’re living? Maybe you know working a full time job we’re trying to take care of our families, and I would lay you odds that a lot of you are putting yourselves last. I know I did when I was taking care of my mom, and certainly it is an opportunity for us to all get into a new mindset today. So, if you’re taking care of a loved one, I want you to constantly ask yourself well we’re talking today of what kind of questions am I asking myself. I think these are valid things. You know what am I saying to myself every day? What’s my self talk?

So we are very privileged today to have Faith Marshall back. And Faith, welcome back to the show. So Faith, we talked in our earlier segment about just kind of overall of what hypnosis. Doesn’t it s about self talk? So if I, if I’m a family caregiver, you know, obviously what are the co some of the things that a family caregivers usually say to themselves? What have you discovered?

Well, I try to reverse the negative. They just feel that they’re not enough so they’re feeling what they’re feeling like they can’t keep up with the tasks at hand. It’s like it’s like they’re engineering, and you know their domestic engineer, they’re handling everything, as well as the patient, meals and shopping, and just all of the things and and possibly working full time to and trying to do this yeah and so they’re trying to be everything to everybody and the putting themselves. Last and being you know, superwomen or superman and certain cases, and- and I know that especially I wouldn’t I’m going to say- women tend to do this more themselves because we, a lot of us in our age group, haven’t had he that you know the positive reinforcement as children. You know we were. We were taught in many cases not to be the achiever not to be the super star or not to, but we were taught to be the sacrificial lamb. That was the type of you know, prototype that was given to you that you know your measure you’re worth is what you’re going to do for other people and I’m not saying that that’s a bad thing, but also being mindful of your choices and feeling confident of the types of choices that you’re making in your life. I think you know to have that little refresher in your brain, saying you know this is most important to me and I cannot give to somebody else from a from an empty vessel. So obviously, when you are care giving someone, I bet. The first thing you need to work with somebody is learn how to set boundaries and isn’t that just part of a natural tendency that people sometimes have a hard time saying.

Yes, yes, we do have a hard time saying no, even though we can feel it, we can feel that we want to say no, but we’re worried about disappointing someone meeting someone else’s expectations instead of our own. So I help people stand in their own power. First, they have to realize what their power is and what they really want and then make their own choices as to what those boundaries are s and then embracing them and and it’s okay, it’s okay to say no, I’m not going to mow the lawn to this is enough we’re going to pay for that or my brother’s going to come over and do it. So the really the significant thing that impacts all caregivers is fatigue, and there is one my one of my favorite hypnosis sessions is a power nap, so you can hypnotize as we can be hypnotized to the state of such calm, that when we come out of hypnosis, we feel like we’ve just had a four hour nap when we just had a twenty minute, hypnosis cession, wow way more healthy than those energy drinks or a diet, coke or coffee, or all the things that we tend to turn to it. Two o’clock in the afternoon when we’re exhausted- and it’s just a beautiful feeling to come out feeling like you, took care of yourself for twenty minutes and twenty minutes is, is huge for a caregiver to feel that there that they are valued enough to take twenty minutes for themselves. Sometimes they have a hard time even fitting in a shower. So I know that it’s really hard to dedicate that time, but when we can do it, it’s so rewarding and then the rest of the day benefits from it well, and I think one of the things you’re talking about fatigue, but it’s also about family expectations and in certain record you know grooves in our head right. We have reacted to other types of drama within our family and it’s learning to disengage. There’s dysfunctional, you know aspects and every family, a l, let’s just be serious, it’s it goes on the difference is, is how we react to them, and you know I it’s you know I alienated my family to a certain degree, because I refused to triangulate any more it’s like. If you have an issue with somebody, you need to go directly to them. You’re, not going to tell me about something that somebody said or something it’s like nope. I won’t do that. I will not engage in drama. I had to learn that over time, okay, but I realize these kinds of patterns that go on in families talk about fatigue. They weigh you down emotionally and mentally to the point where they’re not healthy, and so you know. Yes, we can have compassion for other people but to understand that its compassion and see them in their highest good to hold them as able to be able to handle their own lives. I don’t have to take on their drama and a lot of times. I think what caregivers do is because we have that empathetic side and because we might be the closest one to a loved one or something like that. We tend to take on those those things: those dynamics within a family. I mean, wouldn’t you agree with that? Yes, yeah, we’ve talked about in another episode about you know the sibling rivalry that surfaces when s just dealing with a loved one and them going into business with their siblings. When they formally, wouldn’t you know they wouldn’t start over the family business. It’s like all of a sudden. It’s like power play and different things like the absolutely yeah. Just because we’re genetically connected does it mean we all think alike, and it doesn’t mean we have the same strength so working with them. You know differently than through hypnosis, but it’s it’s about becoming a team, and if you can have that congruency and communication and harmony, it just becomes a much more effective team and it’s really all about the loved one MMMM yeah so and so learning to make those healthy choices sometimes obviously takes effort, but I’m assuming and with hope, hypnosis it makes makes making those healthy choices easier. I mean, wouldn’t that be yes, your unconscious you’re, so conscious becomes your best friend. So when you think about hypnosis being used for for smoking, cessation for weight loss, the things that people struggle with the discipline they struggle with the choices, they know that they know they want to do it, but he the subconscious, gives you an extra boost that can be applied for so many things. I just mentioned those, because those are the most common uses that are people are familiar with for hypnosis and destressing, for me is a big one. This year, especially after this past year and a half that we’ve all survived, that that to me has brought to the forefront what stress does being confined in a home and for most of us that didn’t have that restriction. It. It made me think about the caregivers that have been confined for much much longer than just those of us that were all upset about it because of the pandemic. So it’s an awareness, it’s it’s an empathy and it’s reaching out to these caregivers and helping them to and and hypnosis can help the person hypnosis can help the loved one hypnosis can can be shared. It’s just a it’s. It’s kind of like just making the pavement a little bit smoother sure for the day, then all the bumps and the curves and the speed bumps in the pot holes and everything that you encounter. You know you bring up some really valuable points and I’m curious about you know we, you mentioned the word resentments and I think that’s a big one. I think there’s resentment with the caregiver of you know the rest of my siblings Kingo live their life as normal, and I’m stuck here right. This can build up. Can I can hypnosis help with things like forgiveness or you know healing within yourself? As far as to let go of those types of emotions, I mean: How does that help? In those cases, I think hypnosis can help with with everything that were that we need to reframe in our head right. Getting to the point of forgiving. Someone is always a good step to take because living our life with the rear view mirror is not helpful. We need to move forward so stepping over that threshold and getting past it and yes, hypnosis- can help. I it’s so individualized with each person. What I would like to do is offer calming hypnosis recording for caregivers to be able to download and and just try that for themselves in a moment when you’re in the bathtub or you’re just resting, you’re somewhere, where you can have some peace and quiet- and I will my favorite- is a beach hypnosis that I do where you’re walking on the beach and filling the sand between your toes and just feeling that stress leave you through your feet and if you think about that, if you just visualize the beach and you hear the waves and all of that, no matter what that chatter is it’s going to dissolve a little bit and we can relax your shoulders and you can think into that sand. Even if it’s a visual of visual as if you are on the beach can still help there’s a lot of work that hypnotists do where you’re actually connected with EGS to the brain, and you can see the brain activity changing, as these words are being spoken well mean I wouldn’t I want to get into more of this in our next segment. But in the meantime, Faith, how do we reach you?

You can reach me at https://awakeningshypnosisandcoaching.com/, and I would like to offer a recording for you so hop on there and I’ll have that up for you to be able to download and just see how it makes you feel.

Oh, that would be awesome. Thank you so much and, everyone, Faith will be right back right after this.