Alzheimer’s Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to share stories about how to find caregiver happiness over the holidays.
Suzanne shared a story. “When I met my husband, I’d been caring for my mom. And one of the things that I hadn’t realized until I met him was that I’d forgotten how to laugh. I didn’t have a lot of joy or laughter or lightness in my life. I had nothing but this heavy, heavy burden, and you just learn to live with it. And so, when a family reached out to me before the holidays, I told them, ‘Whether they’re a family member or a close friend of a caregiver, there’s one significant thing you can do for that person. And that is to be primarily responsible for bringing joy into their life. Think about how you could do some things to bring joy.’ There was three girls in the family. One daughter was taking care of mom and dad. The other two sisters lived about an hour away in different directions. What they ended up doing was, they called themselves the Joy Patrol.
“I remembering vaguely what they did, but this is really cool. They planned an event for the caregiver daughter. Once a month, one of them would take their place taking care of mom and dad. The other one would take them out someplace fun, someplace that they love to go. And they alternated every other month, and that was the gift for that year. It was the gift of the Joy Patrol. What happened was that they got an opportunity to get closer as a family. This was amazing. The other two daughters had the experience every other month being there with mom and dad all day. They realized what the caregiving sister goes through. They had a higher appreciation for that type of a situation. And the family caregiver daughter had something to look forward to. It brought this family closer, and it lifted the resentment that sometimes caregivers feel.”
Lori adds, “When you said, I forgot how to laugh – that is serious. That is something that happens to so many people. We push laughter to the side, and we don’t realize that our body needs that. It changes our physiology, and our mindset, and it gives us something to giggle about later on. You also mentioned about how families sometimes can be distant, or almost volatile, and being together and being able to appreciate one another and just sometimes getting to know one another again, to be able to appreciate what’s really going on in their life, and to be able to have that commonality of joy is just something… I love that they stretched it over the year, because a lot of times people will step up for the holidays, and then [disappear].”
Learn more:
* Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com
Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
