Suzanne: And welcome everyone back to Answers for Elders Radio Network. And we are here with social gerontologist and Director of Education for Koelsch Communities, Mr. Benjamin Surmi, and Benjamin and I have been talking about reinventing yourself as you’re aging, as you’re finding purpose in the world. And you’ve used the word to me that’s in your notes, talking about rebirth. I love that term, Benjamin. Could you explain a little bit about what you mean by that?
Benjamin Surmi: Sure. And there’s two different sides to that word in the context I was using it in. I was talking more about the big picture demographic shifts in how life cycles happen. Traditionally, we go to school, then we have a family, and we work, and then we retire — our whole financial planning industry is oriented around that particular life cycle model. So much of our schooling systems, our work systems, everything is dependent on that framework. However, what we’re starting to see is a whole new life cycle be born. That is partly due to demographic shifts as people are living longer. It’s due to other factors in our environment. And in the way work is done and learning is done now than it was in the past. But now according to an expert named Ken Dychtwald, PhD, https://agewave.com/who-we-are/the-team/ with Age Wave https://agewave.com/ and the Second Wind Movement https://secondwindmovement.com/, we’re seeing a new trend in which people will do all three of those things multiple times in their life. They’ll go to school, they’ll work, and then they’re gonna have a mini retirement. Maybe they’re only 30, maybe they’re 35, 40, they have a mini retirement. Then they go back to school, they learn and they do more work, and then they do retirement again, and then they do it again. Because we’re seeing people who are retiring at 50 and then going back to work in some capacity. Or going back to school in some capacity. And so it’s a whole new way of understanding our lives and even financial planning is having to change because now I bet plan for multiple retirements, not just one.
Suzanne: Benjamin, it’s interesting that you say that because I see more and more people that they’ve worked the job, whether it’s the factory job they did whatever. And in their second half of life all of a sudden they want something to leave a legacy they’re more into. Are you finding that more, as people are aging? They’re saying I want to do something in my life that I can make a difference, or I can make an impact in the world or I things like that? What are you finding in that area?
Benjamin Surmi: I personally see two different, probably three, but two main groups of seniors. I see seniors who are just totally happy at 75 to play Bridge with their friends every day. And that’s all, they’re fine. Play bridge. Go play some bingo. They’re done, that’s that. They’ve lived their life, they worked hard, and they want their coffee and some bingo, and some time with friends. And that’s great. And that’s wonderful. But I’m also seeing a whole other group of seniors and there’s a lot of organizations that have actually grown up over the past few years to support this group. It’s people who have contributed in significant ways throughout their life and they at 70 don’t say I’m done contributing. They’re ready to go and do other things. They’re going to lead a nonprofit, they’re going to be on boards.
Suzanne: They’re gonna sing in the choir that they always wanted to, they’re going to open an art studio, they’re gonna do all these things that they always wanted to do, that’s on their bucket list.
Benjamin Surmi: Exactly. We’ve actually seen an increase in people starting businesses in the older age group. And from 2019 to today I think it’s grown from 14% to 26% of all new businesses are started by.
Suzanne: It’s interesting you say that because I just turned 67. I have no desire or even thought of ever retiring. I’m that person that I can’t imagine what I would do with myself if I didn’t have Answers for Elders. And it’s interesting, the friends that I circulate myself with, they’re all like me, they have businesses, they have their own mission, and their vision. They love what they do. Obviously, I’m in a circle. Do you think that people encourage each other or inspire each other if they do things like that? Are you finding like groups of people with that commonality or are you seeing a mix, a mix of that?
Benjamin Surmi: Oh, absolutely. I think all of our life, we see the power of friendship and connection to trust and how we live. Someone once said the only things that will change your life are the books you read and the people you meet. And so, if that’s true, the people we surround ourselves with is really critical. And so if you’re surrounding you and you may not realize your intentionality and the people you’re bringing into your circle. But there is intentionality there, even if it’s kind of learned intentionality that you’re not thinking. And so the people you surround yourself are essential, which is one reason why we really worked hard at Koelsch, our independent living and our new assisted living to kind of create this environment that’s built for community. Every 40 ft in every hallway, there’s a space for people to gather. There’s 12 different areas for people to gather. And we encourage lifelong learning and things like that in order to make sure that social piece of other people that inspire, you can be a part of any senior’s journey.
Suzanne: Absolutely. So let’s just say you’re looking at, “I wanna do something better with my life.” How does somebody even begin what we call the second wind journey?
Benjamin Surmi: You know, that’s a good question. I have my own method, that I actually just taught at a workshop yesterday. And it’s a bit of a conversational method for identifying some core aspects to help shape what the future is going to look like. So first I had the workshop participants identify over seven different areas which really matter to them. Like at 90, if these three things were not in your life, you’d be really sad. And we look at music and beauty and family and friends, mind and body, spirit, nature, community, travel, we look at those things. They tease out a few. And then we go and we create a statement, where it says “I want to…” and there’s four ways that I can go. I want to learn, enjoy, do, or share, right? So they pick one of those I want to… learn, enjoy, share or do. And then they say something like, “I want to share my love of photography. I want to share my love of…” The next thing they do is, they answer “with” or “for,” so that, “I want to share my photography with my grandchildren.” “I want to share my photography so that nonprofits in my city are uplifted,” right?
Suzanne: I want to write my own story. I wanna do these things. I love that. I’ve seen that.
Benjamin Surmi: And so that’s one way, just start with one sentence in your head. It’s like this is what you really wanna do, and that’s good.
Suzanne: Do you have any examples that Koelsch Communities of how you’ve done that?
Benjamin Surmi: How I’ve done that? I think how residents have. So we had someone move in, who spent his career with National Geographic and other types of organizations, taking pictures in places that people from America hadn’t really been allowed into yet. Places like — this was like the 80s, so he’s taking pictures that people had never seen before. Places people hadn’t been to in 100 years. And so that was his career, like high adventure photography, et cetera. He comes into our community and starts leading classes to his peers. He starts coming in and really engaging the whole group of people he was living with, with new classes and new ideas that they never heard before.
Suzanne: That’s amazing. Benjamin and I, we are gonna talk a lot more about this. And in the meantime, you can reach out to Koelsch Communities at https://koelschseniorcommunities.com/ or call the number (360) 867-1900. Benjamin and I will be right back, right after this.
