When you are caring for a loved one, there are two things I can guarantee:
- You will be involved in financial dealings. They can be as minor as going to the grocery store, or paying for parking for a doctor’s appointment, or they can be as major as fronting a significant amount of money in major transitions, such as paying for retirement living while a house sells, or paying for a home care provider.
- There will be scrutiny with either family members, banking, or legal authorities over the use of the funds that are involved in the care of your loved one- whether they are the funds of your loved one or not.
That’s why I strongly recommend one key step needs to take place. A separate checking account should be opened that’s sole purpose is funding caregiving costs. If financial assistance is needed in the care of a loved one, I also believe that family members (even, and especially, non-caregivers) should contribute to the account on a regular basis and have access to view all transactions online. This is for everyone’s benefit and protection.
According to numerous studies, over 45% of seniors outlive their financial assets, leaving them on Medicaid assistance for the end of their lives. In senior care, expenses mount and add up quickly. Even if one family member steps up to be the primary caregiver, it does not mean that other family members cannot or should not also contribute to the enormous expense if Mom or Dad is unable to pay for their own daily incidentals. Often, loved ones who live too far to participate in daily caregiving activities feel helpless or useless. This allows them to express affection and concern for their loved ones in an active and tangible way. It also relieves the primary caregiver from having to bear these expenses alone. Even if the contribution is $50 a month, both the money and the gesture are tremendously appreciated by the senior parent and the caregiver.
The beauty of a Caregiver Account is threefold:
- You can give access to all relevant family members paying into the account. It’s easy to deposit money from anywhere by anyone.
- It gives complete transparency of financial transactions that are involved in caring for a loved one.
- It provides a smoother transition, if your parent needs to qualify for Medicaid. Money isn’t intermingled with yours, and as such, the records are clean between all of you.
There is nothing that builds up resentment more than money. Families can ease the stress immensely by working together and sharing the financial load of caring for a senior loved one. Even if your senior parent’s assets are plentiful, it’s still important to keep caregiving expenses separate from their own bank accounts.
There is no doubt that in every single family, there will be differences of opinions on how money should be spent, who you do business with, or how you pay them. I also know that in your caregiving time, you WILL make mistakes.
Meet with your family members to determine overall costs and do your best to create consensus. Find a way to collaborate together and create that account to achieve transparency. I promise you, it will be the best way to keep the peace in the years to come.
