Home Decision Guide Caregiver Support

Caregiver Support

Currently there are close to 42 million adult children involved in the day-to-day care of an elder parent. According to statistics, they spend an average of 25 hours per week, and experience close to a 40% job loss.

Family Caregivers experience twice the national average of heart disease, obesity, depression, and addictive behaviors. They tend to put themselves last and have lives that tend to be off balance.

Specialization

Geriatric Mental Health Professionals can usually be found through referral from a doctor, and seeking one out, if referred, can be covered by Medicare.There are several triggers that cause the escalation of mental illness:

Physical disability
Long-term illness (e.g., heart disease or cancer)
Dementia-causing illness (e.g. Alzheimer’s disease)
Physical illnesses that can affect thought, memory, and emotion (e.g. thyroid or adrenal disease)
Change of environment, like moving into assisted living
Illness or loss of a loved one
Medication interactions
Alcohol or substance abuse
Poor diet or malnutrition

Preparation

You are not alone. There are numerous resources — including Answers for Elders that is dedicated to providing resources and support that you need as a family caregiver. If thrust into the role of caregiving a senior parent, there are several foundational things you should consider:

Set up a Caregiver bank account. Track direct expenses. This is critical for a multitude of reasons, including if your parent ever needs to qualify for Medicaid or other governmental assistance programs.
Seek Balance. It is important that you do not give up your life. If your parent needs more care than what is reasonable for your life, you should seek out other living solutions
Take Care of Your Health. Diet and Exercise is just as important for you as it is for your parent.
Communicate with other family members. Make sure that they understand fully your boundaries and that they are informed with the status of your senior loved one
Find a strong support network. Reach out and connect to various community and church oriented networks.
You have rights. If your parent is ill or needs your help, you cannot be fired for missing work. You are protected under the Family Medical Leave Act.

Evaluation

Seeking out professionals for help with caregiving come in various forms. You can seek out more criteria on each here in the Decision Guide:

Home Caregiving Companies. Seek out professionally licensed, bonded and insured companies that can provide non-medical home care for Mom or Dad a few days per week
Professional Geriatric Care Managers can help you with seeking out the best option for your parent. They take the whole picture, including your capacity to care for your loved one, and make professional recommendations
Mental Health Counselors. Seek out counselors who specialize in Caregiving. In some cases they are called Caregiver Coaches
Elder Law Attorneys can provide the proper legal paperwork such as Durable Power of Attorney or Healthcare Directive documents should your parent need your intervention

Caregiving Articles

Seeing Caregivers Celebrated and Heard - Kitty Norton, director of the film Wine, Women, & Dementia, joins Suzanne to talk about reactions to her documentary Wine, Women, & Dementia. …Read More
Kitty’s Top Tips for Caregivers - Kitty Norton, director of the documentary Wine, Women, & Dementia, joins Suzanne to offer her best advice for caregivers. …Read More
Caregiving: Things I Wish I’d Known - Kitty Norton, director of the documentary Wine, Women, & Dementia, joins Suzanne to talk about her movie's premiere on many PBS markets at various times beginning November 2. New York, San Francisco, and Los Angeles PBS stations will air it this month. Check local listings to see if it will… …Read More
Humor and Caregiver Smack: Wine, Women, & Dementia - Kitty Norton, director of the documentary Wine, Women, & Dementia, joins Suzanne to talk about her movie's premiere on PBS. Kitty talks about caregiving for her mom, blogging about everything that she and her sister were going through, using humor to cope and surrender to the moment. She became friends… …Read More
Caregivers: You Deserve Some Self-Care - Caregivers deserve some time for self-caring. Dr. Shawn Weiss joins Suzanne to talk about some ways to help care partners from becoming overtaxed and burning out. …Read More
Gift Ideas for Seniors and Caregivers on YouTube - Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about her new series of gift-giving tips videos, which will be posted this month at the Senior Resource YouTube site. …Read More
Simple Ways to Bring Joy to Caregivers - Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about caregiver happiness over the holidays. This segment focuses on ways we can give a little happiness to those who are caring for a loved one. …Read More
Caregiving During the Holidays: The Joy Patrol - Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to share stories about how to find caregiver happiness over the holidays. …Read More
Caregiving During the Holidays - Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about caregiver happiness over the holidays. …Read More
Kindness Matters: Thank a Caregiver Today - Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk how to give thanks to family caregivers on this Thanksgiving weekend, who put their lives on hold to take care of a senior loved one. …Read More
Surprising Caregiver Statistics - Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about family caregiver statistics: with close to 60 million family caregivers in the United States, 50% spend an average of 20 hours per week caregiving, while 20% spend an average of 50 hours per week caring for a loved one. …Read More
Rosalynn Carter’s Impact on Caregiving - Alzheimer's Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about the impact of former First Lady Rosalynn Carter on family caregiving. Carter, who passed away on November 19, founded the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregivers in 1987. …Read More
Caregivers: Home Care To Lessen Your Burden - Flanna Perkins, CEO of Fedelta Home Care in Seattle & Portland, Oregon, joins Suzanne to talk about caregivers getting extra assistance. Fedelta provides companionship care, respite care, post hospital care, daily living assistance, long-term care, end of life comfort & care, and personal care. …Read More
Caregivers and Dignity of Risk - Flanna Perkins, CEO of Fedelta Home Care in Seattle & Portland, Oregon, joins Suzanne to talk about caregivers getting extra assistance from home care, a wonderful way to improve the lives of both the caregiver and the senior, and to help make sure loved ones retain a dignity of risk:… …Read More
Caregivers: Getting Pro Help - Flanna Perkins, CEO of Fedelta Home Care in Seattle & Portland, Oregon, joins Suzanne to talk about caregivers getting extra assistance. Fedelta provides companionship care, respite care, post hospital care, daily living assistance, long-term care, end of life comfort & care, and personal care. …Read More
Wine, Women, and Dementia, Part 4 - Kitty Norton, creator and producer of ''Wine, Women, and Dementia,'' joins Suzanne to talk more about her caregivers documentary. She describes where you can watch the movie, shares feedback she's gotten from various screenings, and updates us on the status of the film. …Read More
Wine, Women, and Dementia, Part 3 - Kitty Norton, creator and producer of ''Wine, Women, and Dementia,'' joins Suzanne to share three tips for caring for a loved one. …Read More
Wine, Women, and Dementia, Part 2 - Kitty Norton, creator and producer of ''Wine, Women, and Dementia,'' joins Suzanne to talk about the origins of her caregivers documentary. …Read More
Wine, Women, and Dementia, Part 1 - Kitty Norton, creator and producer of ''Wine, Women, and Dementia,'' joins Suzanne to talk about her caregivers documentary. …Read More
Successfully Navigating Your Parents’ Senior Years, Part 4 - As part of National Caregiver Month, Star Bradbury joins Suzanne to continue the discussion about her 2023 book, "Successfully Navigating Your Parents' Senior Years." …Read More

Caregiving Radio Show Segments

Seeing Caregivers Celebrated and Heard
Kitty Norton, director of the film Wine, Women, & Dementia, joins Suzanne to talk about reactions to her documentary.

Wine, Women, and Dementia premieres November 2 on PBS. Watch at PBS Online or download the PBS App to stream from your favorite devices. Check your local PBS Member Station for air dates and times in your area. See a list of upcoming local broadcasts here.

* Hear more podcasts with Kitty Norton

* Hear more podcasts about caregiving and caregivers

* Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks
Kitty’s Top Tips for Caregivers
Kitty Norton, director of the documentary Wine, Women, & Dementia, joins Suzanne to offer her best advice for caregivers.

Wine, Women, and Dementia premieres November 2 on PBS. Watch at PBS Online or download the PBS App to stream from your favorite devices. Check your local PBS Member Station for air dates and times in your area. See a list of upcoming local broadcasts here.

* Hear more podcasts with Kitty Norton

* Hear more podcasts about caregiving and caregivers

* Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks
Caregiving: Things I Wish I’d Known
Kitty Norton, director of the documentary Wine, Women, & Dementia, joins Suzanne to talk about her movie’s premiere on many PBS markets at various times beginning November 2. New York, San Francisco, and Los Angeles PBS stations will air it this month. Check local listings to see if it will air on your local PBS station.

Wine, Women, and Dementia premieres November 2 on PBS. Watch at PBS Online or download the PBS App to stream from your favorite devices. Check your local PBS Member Station for air dates and times in your area. See a list of upcoming local broadcasts here.

* Hear more podcasts with Kitty Norton

* Hear more podcasts about caregiving and caregivers

* Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks
Humor and Caregiver Smack: Wine, Women, & Dementia
Kitty Norton, director of the documentary Wine, Women, & Dementia, joins Suzanne to talk about her movie’s premiere on PBS. Kitty talks about caregiving for her mom, blogging about everything that she and her sister were going through, using humor to cope and surrender to the moment. She became friends with people across the world who enjoyed the blog.

Wine, Women, and Dementia premieres November 2 on PBS. Watch at PBS Online or download the PBS App to stream from your favorite devices. Check your local PBS Member Station for air dates and times in your area. See a list of upcoming local broadcasts here.

* Hear more podcasts with Kitty Norton

* Hear more podcasts about caregiving and caregivers

* Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks
Why Caregivers Need Care Bloom for Aging in Place
Lindsay Friedman and Shannon Lyons join Suzanne to talk about peace of mind and other reasons for getting their innovative health monitoring system Care Bloom to help senior loved ones age in place in their homes.

Listeners, sign up for free to win one year of Care Bloom! Care Bloom is holding drawings in June and September 2024. There’s no obligation or commitment to purchase. Learn more at https://carebloom.com.

Lindsay explains the need for Care Bloom. “It’s really important because people want to stay in their homes. People are aging much more rapidly than they have been. Caregiving is on the rise. Caregiving is a very hard challenge that we all are going to have to face as our parents are aging. And also our [number of] home health workers are decreasing. If you want it, that cost is increasing. So there’s less of them, and it’s only going to get more and more expensive to have somebody come and help. It’s going to be unaffordable if you could even find somebody. And on top of that, our nursing homes are struggling. The care is not good, the cost is increasing. I see a lot of future closings, and where are you gonna put mom? So we need something that can really help. And Care Bloom is a great care partner to help with care for their family.”

Care Bloom is a $199 per month subscription, and you get the hardware for free. Shannon says, “This is something that we spent quite a bit of time on, because it is a hardware, right? We provide a smart watch. We provide hardware for the rooms, but we really wanted to make it an easy purchasing decision for a family.”

Multiple family members can use the app. “If brother and sister want it, and then you want a neighbor to have a little bit less [access], that’s an option as well. So the app allows you to add as many people as you want, because obviously we can’t all be with mom at one time. So we want to make sure that we’re giving you the opportunity to provide all the care you can.”

Hear more podcasts about aging in place.

Answers for Elders is part of the Senior Resource Network. Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.
Tracking Mobility and Health Data for Senior Loved Ones
Through the use of a watch, room sensors, and an app, Care Bloom provides 24/7 health monitoring services for caregivers. Lindsay Friedman and Shannon Lyons join Suzanne to talk more about the Care Bloom watch and app, an innovative new tool to assist senior loved ones with aging in place.

Listeners, sign up for free to win one year of Care Bloom! Care Bloom is holding drawings in June and September 2024. There’s no obligation or commitment to purchase. Learn more at https://carebloom.com.

Shannon describes the information a caregiver can see on the app. “We really want to pull the most important information forward for a caregiver. You’re gonna be able to see information like vitals, so that would include temperature, blood pressure, heart rate, and oxygen saturation. You’re also going to be able to see accurate location data, where they’re spending most time, if they’re in the living room, kitchen, bathroom, and really how how the mobility looks throughout the home. And then the last one is, you’re going to be able to see important health behavioral data.

“We know that there’s a lot of smart watches on the market that tell you you’re going to get this health and wellness data. How we’re different is that we take that health data, and we put it in the context of behavioral. And those things look like sleep, mobility, or steps throughout the home, and then self-care, like toileting and bathroom, so that you can really be proactive in your care. You’re not finding out that mom hasn’t left her bedroom for six hours and you’re getting off of work and saying, ‘mom, what’s going on.’ You’re going be able to see that there’s stagnation, and maybe something’s wrong, so that you can communicate earlier, find out what’s going on, and be more proactive with what your next steps are. We also thought it was really important to be able to set alerts in the home. So if there’s a restricted room — a room that is a fall risk, like the basement, garage, or stairwells, we want to be able to tell you, hey, mom’s out in the basement right now, and you can call her and say, ‘hey, I’m coming over after work to do laundry. I see that you’re in the basement. Let’s make sure you get up those stairs,’ so that you’re not finding out about it after that. Or if your loved one has issues with leaving the home at times that they’re not supposed to, or maybe wandering, we want to make sure that elopement is part of the alert package, so that it really is sort of all of those behaviors. And then if your loved one needs assistance, they can actually request it through their watch. And that notification goes directly to your app. It’s a push notification, and you can see mom needs help, she’s currently in the bathroom, and you’re able to make a plan for what’s next.”

Lindsay gave an example of Care Bloom solving a problem. “We had one individual who was talking about how lightheaded he was, and feeling fatigued, and he was an elderly gentleman, and you start to wonder what’s going on. His vital signs were looking good, but after watching him for a series of days, we were noticing that there were no toilet activities. So, went in and kind of monitored him for a little bit, and he wasn’t drinking. No one was there reminding him it’s time to have a glass of water, it’s time to drink during the day. And dehydration really plays heavily on our seniors with confusion and all of that. It was an easy thing to remedy, that we were able to see within a matter of days. No doctor trip, nothing. And it was a quick fix that, just from looking at the data, was able to be resolved.”

Hear more podcasts about aging in place.

Answers for Elders is part of the Senior Resource Network. Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.
Introducing Care Bloom Health Monitoring for Senior Loved Ones
Lindsay Friedman and Shannon Lyons from Care Bloom join Suzanne to talk about an innovative new home-monitoring tool to assist senior loved ones with aging in place, living independently in their later years. Through the use of a watch and app, Care Bloom provides health monitoring services for caregivers. You’ll be able to purchase Care Bloom beginning in June.

Sign up for free to win one year of Care Bloom! Care Bloom is holding drawings in June and September 2024. There’s no obligation or commitment to purchase. Learn more at https://carebloom.com.

Lindsay explained how Care Bloom came about. “All through college, I was a state-tested nursing assistant. So, with the experience, when my grandma needed to a family caregiver, I got designated to take that role. While she was in Cleveland, where we are from, I was taking care of her in the home. But she did want to go back to Florida where, once she got to Florida there, we got her aid. So she had a rough time. And my grandma would complain to me, and say they’re not doing what they’re supposed to do. They’re not there when I wake up at night. The caregivers were saying she’s confused, it’s night time, and was already in her nineties, so that was the case. Well, one night she was calling out for them in her room, and asking them to come and help her, and they couldn’t hear because they were asleep in her guest bedroom. So she decided to get up on her own to go use the restroom, and she fell, and she broke her femur. And that ended her time at home. It ended up being what caused the end of her life. And, you know, my story is a common one. It is more common than not. So I decided that there has to be something that we can do, to make sure that grandma and mom can be home. I’ve got to do something, and Care Bloom was born.”

Shannon describes Care Bloom. “It is a monitoring system. Your loved one wears a watch. It actually looks very similar to a Fitbit. So this is not a medical device. It’s very cool looking. And there’s actually a lot of really lovely data that most people actually get in tune with, such as what their daily activities look like. That’s the watch. Each room has an anchor which is connected to an outlet. So you just plug it into an outlet in each of the rooms that you want monitored. You have a gateway, and that gateway sends all of the information to your app. So as a caregiver, you’ll use the Care Bloom app. And it really gives you a snapshot of what your loved one’s daily activities are, and their health status.

“So, really quick, you’re able to see on one page page, everything’s green, Mom’s good to go, and you can go about your day. It’s more insight than we’ve ever had, in some ways, on their behaviors. You could also send reminders to your loved one, that goes to their watch. So, ‘mom, hey, it’s time to take those meds.’ And so we’re really looking at care plan compliance. We’re looking at supporting health behaviors, and making sure that there’s some accountability. So if your loved one does have a home health worker, you can actually designate tasks for that worker and confirm that they occur. So if medication should be taken at 10 a.m., they should be checking into the kitchen and taking that med. If mom’s not in the mood for a shower, they’re able to say, hey, you know what, she was not in the mood to take a shower today, it did not occur, so that the next day when the health worker comes, they know what that week look like. So it’s a lot of interesting data.”

Lindsay says, “Our largest goal, which really is probably impacting all of your listeners right now, is we’re trying to improve the process of caregiving.”

Hear more podcasts about aging in place.

Answers for Elders is part of the Senior Resource Network. Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.
Dementia: Self-Care to Mitigate Caregiver Burnout
If you’re caring for a loved one who is cognitively impaired, this hour is for you. Dr. Shawn Weiss joins Suzanne this hour to talk about giving yourself some grace and working on self-care to lessen burnout during the overwhelming experience of family caregiving.

Dr. Weiss talks about recognizing the symptoms of burnout, working on self-care, and giving yourself some grace. Burnout will lead you to have a short fuse, the last thing you need while caregiving. Take time and step back, find ways to de-stress, and have someone you can vent to.

Knowledge is power. The more you are prepared, the better as your loved one’s dementia worsens. When it comes down to it, you have to make sure you’re taking care of yourself and finding people that can help. If you have to take a break, make sure you come back refreshed, don’t feel guilty about it. Have trusted people around you. You don’t want to wait till it’s too late to find the right people, because then you’ll be forced to make quick adjustments and not find the right people.

Get a free guide for cognitive impairment strategies.

Learn more:
* Shawn Weiss
* Senior Health and Wellness website

Hear more podcasts about:
* Aging in place
* Dementia

Answers for Elders is part of the Senior Resource Network
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks
Dementia: 8 Tips to Become a Better Listener
If you’re caring for a loved one who is cognitively impaired, this hour is for you. Dr. Shawn Weiss joins Suzanne this hour to talk about the listening and non-verbal side of communicating better.

We’re rushed, living hectic lives. When we walk into the room with our loved ones, are we empathetic, or just pretending to listen? With empathy, you’ll have more success with them doing what you need, like eating breakfast or going to the doctor.

Not interrupting, not finishing their sentences for them, goes a long way. You’re going to learn more about mom, a long of things you can still learn from them if you just listen. Their long-term memory is still intact.

Her advice: actually listen, don’t pretend to listen. Get over repetition. Don’t interrupt. Ask the right questions. Take inventory of your own weaknesses. Practice listening. Resist the impulse to correct errors. And don’t let yourself get offended.

Get a free guide for cognitive impairment strategies.

Learn more:
* Shawn Weiss
* Senior Health and Wellness website

Hear more podcasts about:
* Aging in place
* Dementia

Answers for Elders is part of the Senior Resource Network
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks
Dementia: How to Tweak Surroundings and Your Tone of Voice to Improve Communication
If you’re caring for a loved one who is cognitively impaired, this hour is for you. Dr. Shawn Weiss joins Suzanne this hour to talk about ways of adjusting the home environment to improve the quality of life for those who face cognitive challenges.

Environment plays a major role in daily success, especially as symptoms progress. Adding lavender and vanilla through diffusers can provide a calming effect, reducing stress. It helps to set lights lower after dinnertime. Colors have a huge affect as well.

Communicate with more of a soothing tone of view, and use calmer body language. Avoid jargon, and speak one step at a time. If you want to maximize what they can do, rather than toss out lots of instructions, because the brain is processing more slowly, give them one instruction at a time, and give them time to process it. Simple tweaks can help. For instance, avoid asking they want to take a shower, because they can say no. Instead, say “It’s time to take a shower, let’s go take a shower.”

Get a free guide for cognitive impairment strategies.

Learn more:
* Shawn Weiss
* Senior Health and Wellness website

Hear more podcasts about:
* Aging in place
* Dementia

Answers for Elders is part of the Senior Resource Network
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks
Dementia: Communicating Better With Our Loved Ones
If you’re caring for a loved one who is cognitively impaired, this hour is for you. Dr. Shawn Weiss joins Suzanne this hour. This segment provides an overview of mental impairments, including dementia.

12-18% of those over 60 years old have at least some mild cognitive disorder, and that is expected to grow by 20% by the year 2040. 80% of seniors in senior living communities have some kind of impairment. Most people want to age in place, particularly after Covid, and people are feeling ill-equipped when it comes to caregiving. People are looking for ways to help mom or dad, to improve their quality of life.

There are more than 100 types of dementia. People have language deficits or an expressive aphasia, taking unnecessary risks, memory losses, confusion, decreased concentration, and some personality changes are some of the symptoms.

Get a free guide for cognitive impairment strategies.

Learn more:
* Shawn Weiss
* Senior Health and Wellness website

Hear more podcasts about:
* Aging in place
* Dementia

Answers for Elders is part of the Senior Resource Network
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks
Gift Ideas for Seniors and Caregivers on YouTube
Alzheimer’s Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about her new series of gift-giving tips videos, which will be posted this month at the Senior Resource YouTube site.

The first four videos:
* Print items – Mirador magazine, Nana’s Books, Reminisce Books
* Free gifts – phone calls, cards, driving,
* Technology for the total care team – GrandPad, RecallCue, Map Habit
* A little money, a little time – Make an extra meal, work on a hobby together, go out for coffee or a meal

Find the videos here: https://www.youtube.com/@SeniorResource

The products Lori mentions can be found on Dementia Map, a global resource directory at DementiaMap.com.

Learn more:
* Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Simple Ways to Bring Joy to Caregivers
Alzheimer’s Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about caregiver happiness over the holidays. This segment focuses on ways we can give a little happiness to those who are caring for a loved one.

Lori says, “There’s a lot of different stories out there from so many different angles, from people sending flowers or cards on a regular basis. Instead of getting a bill in the mail, you get something sweet and funny. That just kind of lifts you up. There are some actual caregiver cards. I don’t know who makes them, but I bought some at one time and I’ve sent them all out, but they were just kind of hilarious or real heartwarming cards just about what you’re doing, and how you appreciate that, which I thought was really, really special.

“I also love spa days and things like that with friends, or going out for coffee. Just a specific thing that does not cost much. A lot of times we’re making a date to just get together and be able to reminisce and be able to breathe. It’s about getting away from the chores, and feeling exhausted. I don’t think it always has to be big and fancy and flashy. I think bringing inner generations into it, too, can just be a blast. When families get together and you get everyone doing things from a different angle, yet you’re all there, and the kids are recording things. So you have those memories to be able to last, I think is important. And telling jokes… Sometimes it’s old-time silly jokes or sometimes it’s the little kids coming forward with theirs. There’s just so much that people can do. It could be somebody coming over. Maybe one set of friends is gonna take them out and the other one’s gonna clean the house as a surprise when they come back.”

Learn more:
* Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Caregiving During the Holidays: The Joy Patrol
Alzheimer’s Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to share stories about how to find caregiver happiness over the holidays.

Suzanne shared a story. “When I met my husband, I’d been caring for my mom. And one of the things that I hadn’t realized until I met him was that I’d forgotten how to laugh. I didn’t have a lot of joy or laughter or lightness in my life. I had nothing but this heavy, heavy burden, and you just learn to live with it. And so, when a family reached out to me before the holidays, I told them, ‘Whether they’re a family member or a close friend of a caregiver, there’s one significant thing you can do for that person. And that is to be primarily responsible for bringing joy into their life. Think about how you could do some things to bring joy.’ There was three girls in the family. One daughter was taking care of mom and dad. The other two sisters lived about an hour away in different directions. What they ended up doing was, they called themselves the Joy Patrol.

“I remembering vaguely what they did, but this is really cool. They planned an event for the caregiver daughter. Once a month, one of them would take their place taking care of mom and dad. The other one would take them out someplace fun, someplace that they love to go. And they alternated every other month, and that was the gift for that year. It was the gift of the Joy Patrol. What happened was that they got an opportunity to get closer as a family. This was amazing. The other two daughters had the experience every other month being there with mom and dad all day. They realized what the caregiving sister goes through. They had a higher appreciation for that type of a situation. And the family caregiver daughter had something to look forward to. It brought this family closer, and it lifted the resentment that sometimes caregivers feel.”

Lori adds, “When you said, I forgot how to laugh – that is serious. That is something that happens to so many people. We push laughter to the side, and we don’t realize that our body needs that. It changes our physiology, and our mindset, and it gives us something to giggle about later on. You also mentioned about how families sometimes can be distant, or almost volatile, and being together and being able to appreciate one another and just sometimes getting to know one another again, to be able to appreciate what’s really going on in their life, and to be able to have that commonality of joy is just something… I love that they stretched it over the year, because a lot of times people will step up for the holidays, and then [disappear].”

Learn more:
* Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Caregiving During the Holidays
Alzheimer’s Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about caregiver happiness over the holidays.

Suzanne says, “There are so many things that a family caregiver goes through. Think about the world out there, think about how you are just seeing people coming and going, and yet there is that individual that not only is trying to make a happy holiday season for their family and their immediate family, they might have children at home. But if you’re caring for a loved one, a senior loved one or a spouse, there’s this whole new element of, not only do I feel the pressure for myself, but how do I make the holidays special for those that I love. And when you have someone that you’re caring for, that is not so easy.”

“We touched on some things in a previous show, how sometimes we forget to say thank you to those that we care about. But we also don’t probably recognize all of the sacrifices that they make over the holiday season. I would love to have you share your thoughts on what life is like for a typical family caregiver that is taking care of someone that they love. And how does that affect the holiday season for them?

Lori answers, “How are holidays for most people? They’re chaotic. There is so much stress of what it’s supposed to look like, how it’s supposed to be, and keeping up with the Joneses to begin with, and all of our schedules are too tight, from the very beginning, and now you’ve got to decorate, and buy gifts, and do all of those types of things. Then you add in a person who is caring for someone, and now they’re living two lives in their 24 hours. They have to fit in two different lives. It’s different than taking care of your kids that, as they grow older, you can let them go do this and go do that. Many times, you’re the person who has to go do that. Often, especially with our elders, you are picking up tasks that maybe you didn’t do before. Maybe they did all the driving, and now you have to do the driving. You are now responsible for all the finances, and you never paid the bills before. These are the things that people don’t think about. Or maybe they did all the cooking and the laundry, and now that’s added on to your plate, and you thought your life was pretty full before that.

“So you’re living your life for two people, and then you’re adding on all of these specialty kind of items for the holidays. On top of that, you have the guilt of how do I pull this off and not be in chaos? But yet how do I get some sleep, so so that I can carry out all of these things? I think there’s so many things that are overlooked by people, because it’s just taken for granted that they’re doing OK, because we put on that Stepford-wife smile, like we’ve got it under control, and then we walk away and roll our eyes, and want to scream, ‘We’re never gonna get this all done!’

“One is just appreciating how much is on somebody’s plate. We’re not in control of our schedules – that can change in a heartbeat. So you and I who aren’t caring for someone, we can have our little checklist, and at three we’re gonna do this, and then we’re gonna go meet friends for happy hour, and then we’re gonna go do this. A person who’s caring for someone else can have major catastrophes throughout the day. That might not seem like a lot, but they are a lot when you’re trying to squeeze them into one schedule.”

Learn more:
* Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Kindness Matters: Thank a Caregiver Today
Alzheimer’s Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk how to give thanks to family caregivers on this Thanksgiving weekend, who put their lives on hold to take care of a senior loved one.

Lori says, “Sometimes I think it’s not even a formal thank you. And so a phone call or a card that just says I’m thinking of you, I’m praying for you. I love you. And then throw an offer out there. You want to go to a movie, you wanna go out to dinner, here’s a gift card for a massage. I mean, there’s so many different ways to do it. But I think those personal phone calls can really lift somebody up. You can laugh on a phone call. And that sometimes is really needed. Sometimes you can do that through a text, or an email. Just being able to remember and support them through all of life, it takes away [the feeling that] I’m not alone, that so many people have.”

Suzanne says, “If you know someone that is caring for a loved one and what kind of restaurant they love, there’s all kinds of services like Doordash and Grubhub. Order a meal and have it sent by surprise. One time we had an opportunity to do that for someone who was caring for their mom. I had it sent and, and I called, and I said, ‘Don’t make plans for dinner tonight.’ It was nothing for me to do it. It saves them hours of time not having to cook a meal and it brings some joy to their life.”

Lori adds, “We’re in the holiday season, so helping them with decorations inside, out, or buying a wreath, or a poinsettia, all kinds of little teeny things can make a huge, huge difference. Or maybe somebody needs help shoveling snow, arranging for something like that. Or cutting the grass. Those things are huge.”

Learn more:
* Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Surprising Caregiver Statistics
Alzheimer’s Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about family caregiver statistics on Thanksgiving weekend. There are close to 60 million family caregivers in the United States. One in five provide unpaid care, 64% are women, 50% spend an average of 20 hours per week in caregiving, while 20% spend an average of 50 hours per week in caregiving. Family caregivers are involved in 80% of major decisions, and 75% are the primary Power of Attorney in financial, legal, and healthcare matters.

Lori says, “People don’t realize the cost and where it all draws from. Some caregivers move into a loved one’s house, or some have them move into their home. Some are transporting back and forth and you’ve got time and mileage, wear and tear on the car, but you are picking up prescriptions and a lot of times paying for those. Same with groceries. There can be legal things. There are so many things that you end up paying for. You just pick it up because it’s sometimes less work than trying to get reimbursed for it.”

Learn more:
* Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Rosalynn Carter’s Impact on Caregiving
Alzheimer’s Speaks host Lori La Bey joins Suzanne to talk about the impact of former First Lady Rosalynn Carter on family caregiving. Carter, who passed away on November 19, founded the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregivers in 1987.

Rosalynn Carter said, “There are only four kinds of people in this world, those who have been caregivers, those that are caregivers, those who will be caregivers or those who will need caregivers.” This month, we have been celebrating and acknowledging, and most importantly, thanking those that are taking care of loved ones. Rosalynn Carter really raised awareness, and this segment focuses on her accomplishments.

Lori says, “I just think of this sweet compassionate soul, somebody who saw the bigger picture way before it was OK to talk about, and really saw the need to have this conversation, to make the world comfortable in terms of even recognizing that you need help, or that you’re giving help, or whatever it might be. And I loved her quote, that everyone’s gonna fall into this net at one time or another, and there’s no escaping it, and there shouldn’t be any, any shame associated with it. People shouldn’t have to feel overwhelmed, or have to hide it. And we should all still be able to live authentic lives through it. That’s part of being human, that’s part of society, that’s part of living in community. And I think Rosalynn really understood the true meaning of living in community, where you help one another, you support one another, and you do that through kindness.”

Learn more:
* Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com
* Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregivers: https://rosalynncarter.org

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Caregivers: Home Care To Lessen Your Burden
Flanna Perkins, CEO of Fedelta Home Care in Seattle & Portland, Oregon, joins Suzanne to talk about all the services that a home care agency can provide to relieve the burden of a family caregiver.

Flanna says, “A lot of people don’t know really what home care services are, and sometimes they get kind of mixed up with home health. Home care services are non-medical services that we provide to people in their home, and we call them activities of daily living. So that’s like hygiene dressing, taking a shower, moving around your home, maybe bed mobility, repositioning, things like that. And home health is actually services provided by a licensed practical or registered nurse that are medical in nature, like wound care care, they might come in and provide one type of task. And so the type of services we provide are the first ones I described, which are the home care services. So it really can range, and every client has different care needs.

“We provide supervision support for someone who is mobile, they can move around their home, they can still feed themselves, but we’re there to do coaching, queuing, make sure they take their medication, help them with some hygiene, meal preparation, all the way – the full spectrum – to someone who might be quadriplegic, who really is on a caregiver to provide every single activity of daily living for them, helping them prepare and set up everything for meals, feeding them, and all of those supports.

“That’s really the gamut of kind of home care is, and really intended to be an hourly service. So we can come in for one-hour visits all the way up to live-in support, what we call 24/7 care, where we’re providing 24/7 awake care for clients. And so we provide the full range of service, which is really great for families because you could be the informal caregiver and take Saturday and Sunday off. The home care agency can provide two 12-hour shifts on Saturdays and Sundays, and really just give you the weekend back essentially. Or it could be just a morning routine, or evening routine, or even providing supports during the day while the informal caregiver’s at work. So it runs the full kind of spectrum of care needs. And we also do medical escort, grocery shopping, activities like errands and the park. For private pay clients, they need to go to the casino, we’ll take them. Lots of different things that people like to do, we can make sure that they still have integration in the community.”

Learn more:
* Fedelta: https://fedeltahomecare.com/

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/
Caregivers and Dignity of Risk
Flanna Perkins, CEO of Fedelta Home Care in Seattle & Portland, Oregon, joins Suzanne to talk about caregivers getting extra assistance from home care, a wonderful way to improve the lives of both the caregiver and the senior.

Suzanne says, “A caregiver isn’t supposed to be a sacrificial lamb. They are supposed to be an advocate, and I think that’s a mind shift. It’s an ability to understand that you’re a facilitator, and it’s still about your loved one’s life. And I think that’s one of the things that we forget. I know, I forgot that point while caregiving.”

Flanna replies, “One thing I see a lot of times is that decision making leaves the client. If we stop trusting that our parent, for example, can make their own decisions and can live their own life. And there’s this concept called ‘dignity of risk.’ And sometimes we don’t give people that dignity to take their own risks. Your parent’s health is declining, and you come in, and you really start dictating a lot of things. And to me that’s when I see the relationship between the elderly person and their adult child take a turn for the worse. It’s really important to allow the person who needs care, the ability to continue to make decisions for themselves, and have that independence. I think that by doing that, you end up having more trust with your parent, or whoever you care for, and understand what their wants and desires are.

“A lot of times we come in too late, very late in the process of the person’s illness. And so now it’s very difficult, because we’re a stranger, and they don’t know us, and we’re coming in and providing a person that they don’t know, and the person receiving care is scared and they’re nervous. And so one of the big recommendations I have, and that’s why I’m such a believer in respite care, is that when you start seeing that your loved one needs a little bit more care, needs a little bit more help, start home care a little bit sooner, with fewer hours. And [when you’re] in a respite care-type situation, you’ll then have things in a much better place when you need a little bit more care, and you can just kind of slowly increase care for that loved one, and it isn’t such a whiplashing experience for them. So that’s, that’s one of my recommendations.

“When we come in and provide care, most times families are really relieved. It’s really powerful. They just feel like they can just kind of like really go back to being the adult child.”

Suzanne suggests, “Select a home care agency before you need them. Especially if someone’s on Medicaid, they have to get approved. If you’re aging in place at home, even if you don’t need home care, get you yourself registered with one. Then if you have a fall, you need somebody, whatever it is, you don’t have to go through a process. You can have somebody there that day. in many cases.” Flanna agrees. “Every state has a lot of regulations around these services. It isn’t just a matter of dispatching a caregiver into a home. There’s a very kind of formal process that happens. When we see situations that are very stressful, [it’s because] there’s been a lot of delay in getting services started.”

Learn more:
* Fedelta: https://fedeltahomecare.com/

Hear more:
* Podcasts celebrating caregivers: https://answersforelders.com/category/saluting-caregivers/

Answers for Elders is part of the SeniorResource Network: https://www.seniorresource.com/
Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/