One of the biggest stumbling blocks that prevent us from simplifying our lives and moving into a lower maintenance situation is because our STUFF holds us back. Someone I respect once told me this:
We spend the 1st thirty years of our life defining what we like,
The next 39 years acquiring it, and
The last years getting rid of it.
We may visit Mom and Dad and see clutter accumulating. We may not give it another thought, but bear in mind, that clutter can tell us a story about their own abilities at home. As it gets worse, it presents a significant safety hazard, and place them at a higher risk for falls or accidents in their home.
So how do we help or get started?
Living in a lot of clutter can present feelings of overwhelm. Our stuff can represent memories and an emotional attachment. Sometimes it’s sentimental, or it is an affirmation of a life well lived. For a senior, it can be like opening Pandora’s Box, and thus, it takes time.
How do You eat an elephant?
One bite at a time!
That same advisor uses the “elephant model.” In other words, take it slow- one small section at a time, and or most of us, we can feel overwhelmed, and frozen at how to begin to sort through all the stuff we have accumulated through our lives.
Think about what do you have in your home?
How would you divide it up? Charitable Organizations? Antique Stores? Garage Sales? Gift to family or friends?
1. Eating that Elephant first starts with a solid plan.
It is never too late to start planning for your future living space. Where do you see yourself living in the future? If you are living in a 2000 square foot house, chances are, if you are a senior, your next place may be less than half that size. Its storage capacity will be minimal. Your lifestyle will also change, as so many things will be done for you!
2. Map out your future space
Even if you don’t have your future space yet, keep in mind your new lifestyle- one freed up from having responsibilities like yard maintenance, or home repairs. If you are moving to senior living, you won’t need all your kitchen gadgets, your china, your crystal, all the extra linens, towels, and furniture that you have accumulated over the years. Moving into a mother-in-law suite with family still means less to do and be responsible for.
In your planning, make a list of your absolute FAVORITE things! I remember working with my mom, and I gave her 50 items only to list. (Of course we brought more, but in helping her to narrow down the things she wanted to keep with her, it was important to minimize things.)
Once the list is made, look at it. What kind of space will you need for this stuff, and likely, it will be half of what you have now? Yes, your stuff will determine what your next space should look like. Perhaps you are a gardener and want to keep some of your beloved plants. (A raised bed container patio garden in the sun would likely have to be a “must have” for you.) Do you have hobbies like sewing or other forms of crafts? Perhaps a craft or sewing station will need to be planned out. If you are a woodworker, you might need a garage or shop space. Whatever it is, know that a new space CAN be planned out just perfect for you! It may take some creativity or ingenuity, but it can happen when you plan things out in advance.
3. Step back from the “elephant”
When you begin the task of starting to de-clutter. Step back and think about your list. Perhaps it can be paired down even more. Maybe you don’t need TWO of your matching club chairs, and only one will do. Perhaps you will keep a place setting for only four of your dishes. Get used to thinking about a new unencumbered life! Think about opening your closet without having to hunt through clothes you don’t wear or those that don’t fit you or serve your life anymore.
4. Walk around, size it up and divide into chunks
Dividing the task into chunks makes it much more manageable. If you can create a sorting space on each level of your house to start going through things it can be helpful. Maybe it’s the guest room upstairs and the garage downstairs. That is a good place to start. Likely if things are being stored in the garage, chances are, there are a lot of things that don’t fit your life anymore. Start taking small trips to your local thrift store. Set up a table in each of these rooms with Four large boxes that say: Keep, Donate, Gift, Sell. You might also have an area to put items aside for your family members.
5. Prioritize
Obviously, there are priorities in downsizing. You may need to make a few changes in your plans, and sacrifices. You also may find that there are new opportunities and services that will augment what you will be taking with you. Think clearly about your new lifestyle you will be entering into. You will realize over time that you don’t need as much stuff as you think you will need.
6. One bite at a time, based on priority
Downsizing can be much easier if done in short small tasks. Use the designated sorting areas as a way to see the accomplishment happening. Maybe it’s a closet at a time, or a cupboard at a time in the kitchen. Soon you will start to see progress.
Deciding on what to keep should be about how frequently you use the item. Even then, it should be evaluated based upon a new lifestyle.
Think about:
- Why it would be a good thing to KEEP something
- You use it at least ____(once a month?- Set your timing that feels right for you.)
- If you can’t borrow it when you need it
- What about the “borrow” system? You could give items to family and friends and then borrow them when you need it?
- Community equipment libraries for yard tools, house repair tools, rental shops
- Friends and Family
7. Make plans for its future
Many items we own have a sentimental attachment to us, and when we offer them to our children, often times they don’t want it. If that is the case, think about those who would love to have your things. Perhaps it is a special organization. Maybe it’s a family friend. Maybe it’s a local charitable thrift store. Find an organization or individual that specializes in decluttering, and count on them to have a network of individuals and organizations to help.
We recommend the Dot System. Grab some dot stickers at your local office supply. Put stickers on items as follows:
- Green dot – items for your new home
- Blue dot – items for family & friends (add the initials of the person)
- Pink dot – items for donation to charitable or special interest orgs (use initials)
- Yellow dot – items for an appraiser or estate vendor to view- (Things like antiques or valuables)
- Orange dot – items for Goodwill/Salvation Army, etc.
- Red dot – items for a garage or estate sale
There are also things you can do to minimize your space and still have things with you. You can:
- Digitize photos. There are multiple programs out there today that can help you easily to scan and put them on a cloud. Take an afternoon with family and go through them.
- Make a piece of art that can represent your travels or souvenirs that you are holding onto
- You can repurpose items for a multi-use purpose. Perhaps that beautiful chest can be a storage area for you, or a decorative shelf or etagere can be a great storage for books and other items.
8. Should You Hire a Professional? It sure helps!
The whole process of downsizing can take months. Especially when you already feel overwhelmed to get started. In addition, a professional doesn’t have the emotional attachment to your things and will likely have the knowledge to understand what you will need in a new living situation. They can help assess a new living space and will understand how to effectively plan your new space, help to create storage and special solutions to fit your lifestyle and will help you with all the details to make it happen.
9. Move the minimum for the first two weeks
I recommend to families that they take the bear minimum with them to start. Yes, you want your pictures on the wall, and you want your place to feel like home, but if you can deal with the remaining items in your home after you move, you will find it a lot easier. If you are torn between a place setting for four or six, and not sure about how many sets of towels you need, you can always add more. I’m betting you will find that living with less is more freeing than ever.
10. Live a Life much more Freely!
Once you are done, you will learn that living with less frees you up and you will likely not miss the things that you have been holding onto. Letting go is sometimes difficult, but you will become unencumbered to your stuff holding you back. It will free you up to make whatever choices that work for you without all the overwhelm. Just remember- eating an elephant won’t happen overnight, but over time, you will see progress, and it will feel soooo good!!!!
